Ottawa Tulip Festival

The Tulip Festival has been completely refashioned and it seems to be a great success. The variety of programs was impressive and the weather cooperated with tulips opening just in time. The mirror tent was a marvel; a combination of burlesque and opulent and a (bad) touch of Canadiana (pine railing added to steps with bilingual “watch your step” signs). A few small things to pick on, but overall, thanks are due to many people for daring to try something new.

Seven Deadly Sins
To start off the radical new face of the Tulip Festival, the Seven Deadly Sins was a great kickoff. Great idea and very brave of the committee. Loads of fun listening to the various styles of the speakers, who all did a creditable job defending/ promoting their particular vice. Phil Jenkins was the winner, as he deserved, preparing a truly literary and lyrical speech about greed. In true Ottawa fashion, lust was last on the list of winners…

The rest are notes on some events featuring guest speakers – all with books, of course!

Dan Baker
This was the first test – how successful would the Tulip Festival be in attracting people its “Ideas” sessions? How many books would we expect to sell?
It was reassuring to see people sitting at various tables by 7:30; by 8:00 the place looked nicely full – definitely not a sell-out, but a very good turnout. I guess people really do want these “self-help” books. We sold all the What Happy Women Know and a good amount of What Happy People Know. Julian Armour asked about the latest book What Happy Companies Know. David answered that it was not available for this venue. Oh lord, I really hope he was not looking for such a dumb book…
One woman in her 50s asked “What is the difference between these? Why is there a separate one for women?”
“Good question” I replied. “I thought women went through years of struggle to be recognized as people.”
Meanwhile, David held his hands to his face and muttered that he would not get into this.
Well, it is ridiculous, isn’t it? Women want equality and want to be special. So ironic – male author.

Salman Rushdie
Salman Rushdie was the featured speaker, highlight of the festival, of course. Absolutely packed venue, even with a 75.00 ticket for reserved seats near the front (amazing). He read from his latest, skimming through the “tulip” section, as expected. We had an amazing array of his past works for sale and it was a feeding frenzy at the sales table (Satanic Verses were next favourite). I had people behind me trying to give me their credit cards…there was no crowd control whatsoever. I put on my mom-role finally, halting the action and saying “There is no lineup, so who’s next?” looking at everyone, trusting the intrinsic Canadian sense of honesty to sort out the masses.
Salman gave people their money’s worth. He spoke for 2 hours, and he would have continued indefinitely. Every response was a pontification that resulted in audience clapping their agreement. Paul Gessell was standing with us, and commented that it was interesting that Salman’s political remarks were apparently welcome, but not those of Falun Gong (referring to the latter’s removal from the Tulip Festival the day before). He did have a point.

I am so glad I did not attend Richard Florida’s event. I suspected he was a “flash in the pan” without much substance, and from all accounts I was right. On top of which, I was informed he was obnoxious and egocentric and I need not comment on his wife, who was in attendance with him.

James Howard Kunstler
As The Long Emergency was unpacked, the author appeared and introduced himself. He asked if we had his latest book. I looked at David, who responded that we were selling the book he was going to talk about, he had not looked at others. I got the bright idea of using my blackberry to search for it. There were a number of hits for “Kunstler” and I opened the 1st. It said “Clusterfuck Nation author JH Kunstler speaks about…” I went over to the author and showed him the screen, asking “Ahem, this is not the title of your new book, is it?” No, it was not, this was his blog. I checked his website, which was also full of colourful language (dickwad of the week, etc). His talk was equally interesting; he was most entertaining to listen to as he pronounced doom and gloom for the future. He held his glass of beer, and announced the intermission by saying “Have a think, have a drink, I heartily endorse both” as he took a swig.

Amy Chua
Lovely spring evening in Ottawa, perfect for strolling, sitting in outdoor cafes and pubs. Just before 8, David Luxton murmured something about Amy being a little delayed, but it sounded a little more serious…and it was. Her flight from New York was delayed due to a storm, she would not be here until 9.
He announced this to everyone a little after 8, giving them options and offering complimentary drinks. But the delay was worse, there was talk that she would not be here…it turned out he had sent a private jet to pick her up. People were patient, it was a Friday night, they were in a lovely location, so most did stay, enjoying drinks and chatter, and we actually sold books.
At the amazingly late hour of 10, Amy arrived. She launched into her talk immediately, saying she would condense things to ½ hr, then talked animatedly for 50 minutes. This was followed by a Q&A with Adrian Harewood, which lasted until 11:30. I asked David Luxton if he would escort Amy right away to the signing table, so she would not be ambushed by autograph seekers. Amy is very intelligent, her thesis (I wondered if she forgot she had a book) was interesting but could be viewed as not especially deep. Regardless, I think her latest book is a good read.
People notes:
A man launched into a complaint about Can/US book prices. When he asked the usual “which price do you charge?” I asked “What country are we in?” but softened my retort by explaining that we pay Canadian prices, just as we do for anything else we buy in Canada. He then complained about the tax, to which I asked him to contact his MPP, as I too would love to see taxes removed. Off he went, having given his lecture, accomplishing nothing (and buying nothing).
Aboriginal woman asked for a 2-for-1 deal, saying she should get a break since this was her country. No response possible there, just ignore it. (I thought that attitude was over, guess not.) Five minutes after Amy began her talk, this woman stood up; it was as if she assumed that this gesture would get Amy’s attention. It didn’t, so she put up her arm, then began to yell “excuse me”…. at which point I quickly went over to her and whispered that there would be a Q&A afterward. “Am I not allowed to speak?”she began, but both Doug Little and Grant Hooker suddenly appeared on either side of me and I retreated – they were in charge. Grant got her to sit down and he sat directly across from this stupid woman, responding to everything she said (all this in whispers). He stayed there, looking right at her. After another 5 minutes or so, it was obvious she had been given an ultimatum; she stood up and was escorted out by Grant and David. The irony is that just as she left, Amy’s talk veered onto the aboriginal role in empire. This aboriginal woman had one hell of a chip on her shoulder and let’s face it, she would never have to give it up, political correctness would ensure nobody would tell her to grow up and respect others.

Chris Anderson
Chris Anderson, famed author of The Long Tail, should have had a packed house, what with the techies and business types that supposedly inhabit our city. The turnout was disappointing, and book sales very poor. No reflection on Chris, his lecture was great, his presentation entertaining. Perhaps it was the fact that he was talking about how things are going to be free, how the internet has caused people to expect more for less, etc. The capper may have been when he announced his next book would be available as a free audiobook and free download. Gee, his publisher must love him.
People note: One young Japanese girl (early 20s) came over at the start of the intermission and asked if she could read the book during the break. “I am sitting over there” she pointed “I will bring it back”. I know we have done this before, but this did not seem right for some reason so I looked over to D. He asked her if she wanted to buy it. “Oh no” she declared “I just want to go through it during the break, something to do”. “If you do not plan to buy it, you cannot leave with it” D responded and muttered “We are not Chapters” (or the library, I thought). “Well then, I am going to stand here and read it anyway” the stupid girl said, as if she was a spoiled child, and she did. Typical of the today’s youth? No sense of how to behave in public and what business is? Really pathetic.

Jared Diamond
Jared Diamond was the BEST speaker at the Tulip Festival (well, he may have tied Salman Rushdie). He was not the funniest; indeed, his lecture was quite pedantic. He was the most thoroughly prepared and made references in his lecture that let his audience know he was in Ottawa, during the Tulip Festival. It was charming and very professional.
The strength of the mirrored tent was tested as a thunderstorm blasted overhead for 10 minutes early on. Kathleen Petty was the interviewer; it turns out she still has a dog and we chatted together afterwards. I reminded her of her interview with Adrienne Clarkson and she laughed, saying what she remembered was the “macaroni and cheese” story (oh dear, I don’t remember that one).
Guns, Germs and Steel was published in 1997 – I did not realize it was that long ago. This edition showed both US and Canadian prices…that were the same! (also reasonable) Good for Penguin. They were also smart enough to overlabel Collapse (2005) with a lower Canadian price.